Response to Grant Gresson

So, here's my deal. I was raised in the The Truth by my mother. In a lot of ways it was my education, more so than school. But, as I got into my teens I "fell away." (I've got a sister and brother-in-law who are still in, mom's still in, and two other siblings are out. Dad never joined and my folks eventually divorced. I get along with all of them OK. Well, except for that brother-in-law.)

Now, the stereotypical version of "falling away" is that one succumbs to the temptations of the world and just does as he pleases. And sure, there was an element of that. But over time I've come to take my choice VERY seriously.

My experience with the Witnesses led me to conclude that religion is a man-made construct, and that it serves a lot of base human instincts: a tendency to look to authority for guidance and approval, a clannish "us vs. them" perspective, a desire to feel better and smarter than others, and the quest for personal reward. I just don't think a God like Jehovah could possibly exist - he seems like an obvious projection of these desires. (And yep, I'm down with the concept of the big bang and evolution - frankly I don't think a lot of religious people even "get" the basic principles behind it.) So, once you chuck the whole thing, you are remarkably free - there's no need to take every word in the bible so literally, and no need to worry about what some religious authority thinks of you. This life is suddenly the best you are going to get, so you might as well start making the most of it.

So I've very consciously sided with "the world." I think that our fellow man is all we have, and the contribution we make to society is the only hope we have of making the world a better place. (The general label you would put on this viewpoint is "secular humanism.") So, the best thing you could do in life is not pray and preach but do something like curing cancer.

And I can even point to a specific experience that really crystallized my decision. An assembly in Natick, MA. A big honcho is up at the lectern, the district overseer or some such guy, and he's talking about mainstream churches with steeples. And, just as an aside, he says, "And those are really just phallic symbols, you know." And I thought, what a rotten thing to say. This guy was an important authority in the organization, and he just did NOT seem like a good person.

(That wasn't the only thing, of course, it's not like I suddenly decided at that moment. But that's one example in particular that sealed the deal.)

So, that's where I'm at. I'm not some anti-cult deprogrammer. I don't usually put this much effort into expressing my viewpoint, but I do hang out here at Gothamist and this subject set me off. And, in general, I'm concerned that the conversation about religion is usually all one-sided - you guys are out there selling your agenda and putting a happy face on it, and I think people do deserve to hear a different perspective.

People will take this information I've just told you and try to use it to invalidate my argument. Perhaps even you are planning on it. I'm biased, you may say. But, I'm actually a lot less biased than you guys are - you've all invested quite a lot in being a JW and your take is all spun towards the positive. If you went on record saying anything negative about the organization (like, say, "it needs to revamp the role of women in the congregation"), there would be some serious discussions afterwards. So I'm looking at the negative aspects (and I've got a heck of a lot more, we're only scratching the surface of what I think.) People like me sometimes know as much or more about The Truth as somebody like you. You gotta admit that I know quite a bit, and that the facts I've presented so far are accurate.

Indeed, as I recall they explicitly warn you not to talk to people like me. They had a specific term for it. Eh, whatever, I'm done. I'm not going to try to convert you to secular humanism. All I ask is that you regard the Witnesses with the same critical sensibility you train on other belief systems. Don't blithely assume that you are on the winning team and everything is hunky-dory. There are a lot of negative aspects to it, and that's a real reason people "fall away." Try to respect that.

If you can do all that and the Witnesses still look like the best religion for you, then fantastic. My own mom is still in and she's pretty happy - the rough years of us fighting about it are past. I really can't imagine her leaving - I don't think she ever would or could.

(Oh, and one more point. The name "handsomedevil" is just a joke. I do like to argue and cause trouble from time to time, but I don't actually believe in the existence of the devil. I do think these apples from the Tree of Knowledge are pretty tasty, though.)